Monday, September 17, 2007

22 WAYS TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT




1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion of the Christ for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."

Ready to vote, now?

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEWS AND NOTES


Good news, bad news story for Beavers football… Oregon State star junior OG Jeremy Perry, arguably the top player in the country at the position, will be out 6-8 weeks after suffering an injury in the Beavers’ opening season win over Utah. The school did not officially announce the specifics of the injury, however, it is believed to be a broken leg. The better news for Oregon State is that all signs point to WR Sammie Stroughter returning to action when the Beavers play Cincinnati on Thursday night. Stroughter, who took a leave of absence from the team for personal reasons early in fall camp, was at one point questionable for the entire season, however, he unexpectedly returned to practice just before the start of the season and was practicing with the regular offense on Sunday. Stroughter was a third-team All-America selection last year when he caught 79 passes for 1,293 yards; he scored three TDs on punt returns.